Thursday, June 11, 2009

....its just hell

and once again its on....i'm on some bullshit, and the bullshit is on me. this city has gotten the best of me...the best part of my life is definitely behind me. i'm not feelin' doin' this this anymore....poetry, music, activism. it's a cycle...and i'm on that downturn. i know that my environment has definitely gotten the best of me, and i'm not seein' the positivity.

now d, is cool and all, but it ain't perfection by any means. she's a mommy, and that's the last thing i need, want or desire. don't mommy me, i am tired of being a motherfucker, and right now i wouldn't mind laying next to a pregnant wife in a house that we were both paying on waiting on our 1st or 2nd child...but that is really a big fuckin' pipe dream...that shit just ain't gonna happen.

i'll never escape omaha...i'll be in this fuckin' house till jr. graduates..hell probaly till maya graduates at the rate my sister is going. this is truly some disasterous shit. i should of never come back. i am so unhappy right now...my mood is just absolutely terrible. i shouldn't of been so hard on d, but hell i just want to be alone for awhile...i'll post my lately written poem in a new blog...this blog just a new post....

omaha is just hell.

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